Still smitten with the lace of Windfall, and especially its silk wool blend, I'm conjuring up a turtleneck now in the same knitted fabric, one that's sleeveless. It's definitely something my chic Marlene would have worn. Though our styles often differed, Mum taught me to love clothes, buy good ones, and take chances with fashion. She walked that walk, and usually more bravely than I.
Those who knew us both say we looked alike and I tend to agree. I see her staring back at me in the mirror every morning as I brush my teeth. And sometimes I hear her too – her words, her laugh – coming from me. Our resemblance has given me curious benefits – of checking out hairstyles she wore that might work for me (okay, joke), and seeing in advance how I'll likely look as the years go by (joke, not).
Some years after we lost Dad she was lonely and feeling ready to venture out into the dating world. She had some cosmetic work done to boost her confidence and was happy with the result. "What do you think Doe?" she asked. She called me Doe. "I don't know M," I responded, "I don't really see a difference," a response that at the time was likely accompanied by an eye roll. Well, I'm near to the age that she was then, and although I'm not entertaining the idea for myself, her motivation is now crystal clear. I’m sorry Mum, I should really have been more supportive.
Mother's Day is this weekend and I'll be visiting her soon – my semi-annual pilgrimage to Maine where she rests. I'll fill her in about Violet and our new baby boy on his way, though I suspect by the manner she guides me each day, in some cosmic way she already knows.
Walk this way – my next sweater design – coming soon.